How to Make Friends as an Adult: The Art of Inviting

Making friendships as an adult got a whole lot harder after high school.

Back then, connection was almost automatic. We were in the same classrooms five days a week, surrounded by girls our age with similar backgrounds, interests, and rhythms. But adulthood? We’re thrown in a dozen directions.. different cities, careers, goals, growth rates, worldviews. And suddenly, friendship isn’t just something that happens anymore. It’s something we have to intentionally create. It took me a while to realize that.

The number one factor in forming adult friendships isn’t an instant bond or a shared struggle (though those help). It’s proximity. But more importantly, it’s what we choose to do with that proximity that matters. (What better way is there to be surrounded by like-minded women than attending a BFF Indy event?)

I once had a coworker who I barely exchanged more than a few passing words with for an entire year. Then one day, she took a risk. She invited me over to hang out. That invitation led to a real, lasting friendship, five years strong now. We still laugh about how we passed each other every day, completely unaware of how important we’d become to one another.

She came into my life at a time when I really needed a friend. And I’m still grateful she had the courage to extend that invitation.

Invitations Don’t Have to Be Fancy

An invitation doesn’t have to be a perfectly worded message or an exciting event. Sometimes, the most powerful invitations are the simple ones.

In my opinion, when someone invites me to run errands with them, they’re really saying: “I have to do this thing… but I’d enjoy it more if I had company.”

And honestly, that kind of invite can feel more meaningful than dinner reservations.

Be Brave Enough to Ask First

If you want to be the kind of person who makes others feel welcome, the key is this: Be brave enough to go first.

Initiating is vulnerable. It can be scary. But it sends a clear message: “I see you. I want to connect.” It’s the first thread in the fabric of a real friendship.

Make Room for All Kinds of Energy

Creating a welcoming space also means honoring the differences in how people show up. Some are outgoing and at ease right away. Others are quiet, or cautious, and need more time to open up.

Both are beautiful. And both deserve to feel safe and seen.

When you invite someone in, whether it’s to your home, your group chat, or your weekend plans, be thoughtful. Keep it low-pressure. Let people know they can just be.

Let’s Normalize the Ask

We’re all busy. We’re all tired. And most of us are secretly hoping someone will reach out first. So… what would happen if we all got just 10% braver?

What if we normalized saying:

• “Wanna grab a coffee this week?”

• “I’m running errands, want to come along?”

• “I could use some company today, are you free?”

There’s nothing weak about wanting connection. It’s deeply human.

And when we take that chance, when we extend the invite, we’re not just offering our time. We’re offering belonging.

At the end of the day, inviting someone into your life is a gift. It says, “I want you here.” And when we stop waiting to be invited, and start becoming the inviters, the welcomers, the includers.. that’s when something shifts.

That’s when we start to find our own sense of belonging too.

Check out our Instagram for all the latest BFF Indy events! Whether you come solo or bring a friend, these gatherings are the perfect chance to practice the art of inviting and making meaningful connections.

We’d love to see your friendship moments! Share a photo with your BFF and tag @bff.indy so we can celebrate the joy of friendship together.